As a leader, I've had my share of frustrations whenever I remind people over and over again and yet they tend to do the opposite whether intentionally or not, I don't know. It used to be one of the things that test my patience.
I recently had the opportunity to talk to someone who shared a story to me which clearly was an example of what I said earlier about things being done the opposite of what I said. I was surprised not with the story but with how I responded.
A few months back, I would've sighed with frustration, asked why do you have to do the opposite of what I said, and then reiterated what I said in the past and the wisdom behind it. Instead, I sat there, composed myself, and then reiterated what I said in the past and the wisdom behind it. Before you say anything, let me tell you why there's a big difference between the two responses.
During that moment, I realized that I shouldn't dwell on the past but instead focus on the present and of course the future. The past is meant to be a memory. Whether it's a horrible past or something you can recollect with a dreamy look on your face, the past is not meant to be our anchor. So many people have been hurt because of how other people judge them based on their pasts and I didn't want the people I'm leading experience that. Whether I like it or not, I cannot change the past. However, I can be an influence as to how people make decisions or respond to their situations moving forward.
Now what good does this do? Aside from clouding my thoughts with personal biases, I can instead focus on how to help that person moving forward. Another thing is that by having this kind of response, I'm creating a secure atmosphere wherein communication is encouraged instead of creating an atmosphere where being open is to be feared.
No matter how hard we try, we cannot prevent people from making mistakes. I may even make mistakes myself. However, leaders must focus on what can be done moving forward instead of getting stuck in the past.
At that moment, I really appreciated how God has transformed me in this particular area of my life. It reminded me of the power of grace at work in my life and in the lives of the people I lead. Grace transforms people and helps us live the perfect life God has in store for us.